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Showing posts from 2008

Excuse Letter

Dear Mr. Mabuti,

Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Ganda, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip; finally, the father came home to look for another helper but the helper eloped because her former boyfriend married another.

Thank your very much. Your kind consideration will be highly and deeply solicited.

Sincerely yours,
MRS. TINA MAAN
(Source: Jokes, here, there and everywhere)

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.

'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup..'
'No' said the director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'
(The visitor became the next patient! Waaaa!)

Anonymous Donor

Two newly weds received two tickets for a popular stage play in town for the next day. The donor was anonymous but the couple thought that maybe the tickets were wedding presents from a family member who wanted to surprise them. So without much ado, they left their home the following day to watch the show. All their wedding gifts were still unopened in the living room.
As soon as they arrived home, they saw a large note outside their door saying, NOW YOU KNOW! All their wedding gifts were stolen by their ticket donor --a burglar!

Job Opening!

Hindustan Lever has job vacancies in their deo /perfume Plant.
If you're interested, apply to: hrhl@MNC.com ,

The Package:
1. Proposed salary is Net Rs.75,000/mth,
2. Health benefits
3. 6 hours / day
4. 5 working days / week
5. Transport provided
6. Medical Benefits - Rs.8500/pm

Conditions:
1. You only need to have a very good sense of smell.
2. Willingness to explore with your nose
Scroll down for a demo of the job......... ......

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Puzzle For You!

Here is a puzzle for you....
1.Imagine you are in Africa .
2.You have been tied hanging on atree with a rope anchored on theground....
3. A candle is slowly burning the rope,and the lion is waiting for you to dropand be his lunch.


4.Your survival hinges on the rope stayingintact..
5.There is no onearound to help you.
6. What to do now?
7. Write your answer before your scroll down....



SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER...

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SING A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)




He,he,he,he!


Hear no Evil! :)

How To Reply If Your Job Application Is Rejected?

Job rejected?

Next time your application for a job is rejected...
Here is how one rejected job applicant replied
through e-mail:








Dear [Interviewer' s Name ]:

Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview ].

After careful consideration I regret to inform you
that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer
me employment with your firm. This year I have
had been particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection letters.
With such a varied and promising field of
candidates it is impossible for me to accept
all refusals.

Despite [ Firm's Name ]'s outstanding
qualifications and previous experience
in rejecting applicants, I find that your
rejection does not meet with my needs
at this time. Therefore, I will initiate
employment with your firm immediately
following graduation.

I look forward to seeing you then.


Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.


Sincerely ,
[Your Name ]

The Gift

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway thatgoes from 0 to 200  in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! "

She was expecting a brand new car.

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway .

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!

Rick has been missing since Friday .

Please pray for him ..