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Anonymous Donor







Two newly weds received two tickets for a popular stage play in town for the next day. The donor was anonymous but the couple thought that maybe the tickets were wedding presents from a family member who wanted to surprise them. So without much ado, they left their home the following day to watch the show. All their wedding gifts were still unopened in the living room.
As soon as they arrived home, they saw a large note outside their door saying, NOW YOU KNOW! All their wedding gifts were stolen by their ticket donor --a burglar!

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Anger Management

Husband to wife : When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
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Wife : I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband : How does that help?

Wife : I use your toothbrush .

(Sent by my friend from Egypt)

Laundry problem

Mrs. Thurston stormed into the A-1 Laundry and demanded to see the owner. Mr. Fulton appeared from behind a curtain.

"I'm the owner," he said. "Do you have a complaint?"

"A complaint?" echoed the upset customer. "
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You have the nerve to call yourself an A-1 cleaner?"

She threw something accross the counter.

"Just take a look at a sample of your work!"

Fulton picked up the object and studied it.
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Source:Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yinglish (McGraw-Hill)

Addition

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband:

"Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?"

Looking her over carefully, Peter replied:

"Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25."

"Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight.""No wait, Peter replied. I have not added them up yet!"




(Source: Reader's Digest, Vol.81.No.482, May 2003 edition)