March 28, 2009

Daddy's Calling





Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

'Hello?'

Hi honey.
This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'


After a brief pause, Daddy says:

'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.'

Brief Pause.

Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

A few minutes later...The little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water. Last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

*****Long Pause*****

*****Longer Pause*****

*****Even Longer Pause*****

Then Daddy says,'Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?'

No, I think you have the wrong number.

(Source: Emailed to me by an Egyptian friend.)

March 26, 2009

Cholesterol Level



"Your cholesterol level is unbelievably high," a doctor told his patient during a physical examination.

"How bad is it?"

The doctor pointed out the window. "See that field of oats out there?"

"Yes?"

"Bon appetit!"


-Parker and Hart, North America Syndicate

March 19, 2009

Robot talk




"How's that book you're reading?" one robot asked to the other.

"Is it any good?"

"Naah. Just the usual," replied her companion. 

Boy loses girl. Boy builds girl."


Source: Louis Philips, Way Out! (Viking Kestrel)