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Showing posts from February, 2009

Circus

Desperate for work a man went to the owner of a local circus and asked if there were many openings. The owner told him that he needed a high-wire act, but the job required walking without a net over the lion's pit while wearing a monkey suit.

In no position to quibble, the man took the job, put on the suit and climbed to the high wire amid the stunned gasps of the crowd.

Stepping gingerly on the thin cord, he began to shuffle his way across, but quickly lost his footing and tumbled into the lion's cage.

"Help!" the man screamed as the lion pounced on him.
"This beast is going to eat me!"

"Shut up!" the lion said angrily.
"You want to get us all fired?"
(Marlon Huerta, Reader's Digest)


Best suicide note ever written?

One man asked his friend: What is the best suicide note ever written?

His friend said, "What? That's ridiculous? How can a suicide note be written that way?

"Easy, my friend". Just write: 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
(He he he he! NO offense meant to married men. )

Addition

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband:

"Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?"

Looking her over carefully, Peter replied:

"Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25."

"Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight.""No wait, Peter replied. I have not added them up yet!"




(Source: Reader's Digest, Vol.81.No.482, May 2003 edition)