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The Gift






Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.


His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway thatgoes from 0 to 200  in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! "

She was expecting a brand new car.

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway .

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale!

Rick has been missing since Friday .

Please pray for him ..


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Anger Management

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Wife : I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband : How does that help?

Wife : I use your toothbrush .

(Sent by my friend from Egypt)

Laundry problem

Mrs. Thurston stormed into the A-1 Laundry and demanded to see the owner. Mr. Fulton appeared from behind a curtain.

"I'm the owner," he said. "Do you have a complaint?"

"A complaint?" echoed the upset customer. "
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You have the nerve to call yourself an A-1 cleaner?"

She threw something accross the counter.

"Just take a look at a sample of your work!"

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Source:Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yinglish (McGraw-Hill)

Addition

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband:

"Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?"

Looking her over carefully, Peter replied:

"Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25."

"Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight.""No wait, Peter replied. I have not added them up yet!"




(Source: Reader's Digest, Vol.81.No.482, May 2003 edition)