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Addition

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband: "Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?" Looking her over carefully, Peter replied: "Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25." "Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight." "No wait, Peter replied. I have not added them up yet!" (Source: Reader's Digest, Vol.81.No.482, May 2003 edition)

Cholesterol Level

"Your cholesterol level is unbelievably high," a doctor told his patient during a physical examination. "How bad is it?" The doctor pointed out the window. "See that field of oats out there?" "Yes?" "Bon appetit!" -Parker and Hart, North America Syndicate

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. ' Well ,' said the director, ' we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.' 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. ' A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup..' 'No' said the director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?' (The visitor became the next patient! Waaaa!)