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Husband and Wife









This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of

resorting to physical force... 

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart, I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU. 



WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far 


HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you? 



WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you
Photo source:

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Addition

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband:

"Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?"

Looking her over carefully, Peter replied:

"Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25."

"Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight.""No wait, Peter replied. I have not added them up yet!"




(Source: Reader's Digest, Vol.81.No.482, May 2003 edition)

Anger Management

Husband to wife : When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?

Wife : I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband : How does that help?

Wife : I use your toothbrush .

(Sent by my friend from Egypt)

Laundry problem

Mrs. Thurston stormed into the A-1 Laundry and demanded to see the owner. Mr. Fulton appeared from behind a curtain.

"I'm the owner," he said. "Do you have a complaint?"

"A complaint?" echoed the upset customer. "
"
You have the nerve to call yourself an A-1 cleaner?"

She threw something accross the counter.

"Just take a look at a sample of your work!"

Fulton picked up the object and studied it.
"Lady, there's not a thing wrong with this lace," he pronounced.

"Lace!" Mrs. Thurston screamed.

"When I brought it in to be cleaned it was a sheet!"(oh,ohh!)



Source:Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yinglish (McGraw-Hill)