tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9705710174949199332011-11-27T16:23:53.664-08:00Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.comBlogger491100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-71707984020081163382011-08-25T17:32:00.000-07:002011-08-25T17:53:31.464-07:00

This was shared by Kuya Ben Leano at the CLEAN FUN GROUP at facebook: This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force... Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND. WIFE:I wrote your name on sand it got washed.I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. HUSBAND:God saw me

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-20094055133097640542009-05-11T17:27:00.000-07:002009-06-27T05:10:19.028-07:00

Husband to wife : When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?Wife : I clean the toilet bowl.Husband : How does that help?Wife : I use your toothbrush .(Sent by my friend from Egypt)

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-43523563299322879442009-05-05T16:46:00.000-07:002009-05-05T16:51:53.460-07:00

Mrs. Thurston stormed into the A-1 Laundry and demanded to see the owner. Mr. Fulton appeared from behind a curtain."I'm the owner," he said. "Do you have a complaint?" "A complaint?" echoed the upset customer. ""You have the nerve to call yourself an A-1 cleaner?" She threw something accross the counter. "Just take a look at a sample of your work!" Fulton picked up the object and studied it."

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-79925248785279854072009-03-28T16:31:00.000-07:002009-04-11T22:22:21.167-07:00

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,'Hello?'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?''No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'After a brief pause, Daddy says:'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.''Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.'Brief Pause.Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-27264196552980299162009-03-26T22:03:00.000-07:002009-03-26T22:06:10.907-07:00

"Your cholesterol level is unbelievably high," a doctor told his patient during a physical examination. "How bad is it?" The doctor pointed out the window. "See that field of oats out there?" "Yes?" "Bon appetit!" -Parker and Hart, North America Syndicate

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-24569477641082194562009-03-19T19:47:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.162-07:00

"How's that book you're reading?" one robot asked to the other."Is it any good?""Naah. Just the usual," replied her companion. Boy loses girl. Boy builds girl."Source: Louis Philips, Way Out! (Viking Kestrel)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-23950181205541036472009-02-28T20:10:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.156-07:00

Desperate for work a man went to the owner of a local circus and asked if there were many openings. The owner told him that he needed a high-wire act, but the job required walking without a net over the lion's pit while wearing a monkey suit.In no position to quibble, the man took the job, put on the suit and climbed to the high wire amid the stunned gasps of the crowd.Stepping gingerly on the

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-4706290322007837672009-02-19T16:47:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.156-07:00

One man asked his friend: What is the best suicide note ever written?His friend said, "What? That's ridiculous? How can a suicide note be written that way?"Easy, my friend". Just write: 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?"(He he he he! NO offense meant to married men. )

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-13590615710354184282009-02-03T04:22:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.156-07:00

Peter's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics when she heard that they would make her look years younger. After applying the products, she asked her husband:"Darling, tell me honestly. What age would you say I am?"Looking her over carefully, Peter replied:"Let me see. Judging by your skin, 20; your hair 18; and your figure, 25.""Oh you flatterer, she gushed in delight.""No wait, Peter

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-45795160232270959672009-01-24T04:46:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.156-07:00

(The following jokes were sent by my friend, Greg, through e-mail. Thanks!)My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started...***********My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-14518856299388252102009-01-14T15:34:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.156-07:00

A sign board in front of a car wash:IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS, IT IS TIME YOU WASH YOUR CAR!

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-20151731184231249262009-01-10T15:26:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

A sign board posted in an air-conditioned hotel room:If you want just warm air, then, simply control yourself. (he, he, he!)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-19495380986717885552008-12-30T17:30:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

Happy new year to one and all!Thanks for your visits. :)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-81171051511827189352008-12-28T14:24:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

Dear Mr. Mabuti,Please excuse my daughter, Cecilia Ganda, for being absent in your class because her sister got sick; her mother cannot attend to her due to the fact that the father went to Manila to call his sister who is a nurse but who was sent to a seminar in Cebu; so the father decided to call his mother but she was on vacation in Antipolo because her granddaughter joined a field trip;

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-56533903636783091512008-12-25T20:18:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

The lesson for the day was on the denotative and connotative meanings of words. To arouse the interest of the students, the professor asked them to write their favorite passages or quotations on a one -fourth sheet of paper. After five minutes, the professor collected the pieces of papers. The he read them one by one. On one of the papers, this passage was written:Front page: WE DO NOT LIVE BY

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-42380165278654201132008-12-21T17:43:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

Attention to all our guests:Please do not feed the animals. If you have food, givethem to the security guards.

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-79432231108862231422008-12-19T18:11:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.157-07:00

(This joke was sent by a friend. Thanks Khater!)During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.'Well,' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.''Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.'A normal person

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-59083158751247628262008-12-17T03:40:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.158-07:00

Two newly weds received two tickets for a popular stage play in town for the next day. The donor was anonymous but the couple thought that maybe the tickets were wedding presents from a family member who wanted to surprise them. So without much ado, they left their home the following day to watch the show. All their wedding gifts were still unopened in the living room.As soon as they arrived

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-21747176438231228252008-11-24T19:17:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.158-07:00

FOUR REASONS"You promise to take me to the movies today.""I can't today.""Why not? Give me just one good reason.""I have got 4 reasons-no money in pockets."

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-5717603982301627572008-11-13T20:49:00.003-08:002009-04-11T22:17:27.158-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-51883233525401578052008-11-08T06:28:00.000-08:002009-03-25T22:53:28.164-07:00

Karate! Hai!!

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-73711898927635037102008-10-26T22:37:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.164-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-87013039200944967832008-10-26T20:02:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-8551783712988585782008-10-16T04:56:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-86491552536759638512008-10-04T06:43:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

Junk Mail

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-85293100711303683592008-09-28T17:24:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

This is a forwarded e-mail:Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild.Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect. Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She is half destroyed after the war but

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-8103302168101823642008-09-20T21:24:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

Please click to enlarge! =)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-86573273103560054672008-09-15T21:46:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

Hindustan Lever has job vacancies in their deo /perfume Plant.If you're interested, apply to: hrhl@MNC.com ,The Package:1. Proposed salary is Net Rs.75,000/mth,2. Health benefits3. 6 hours / day4. 5 working days / week5. Transport provided6. Medical Benefits - Rs.8500/pmConditions:1. You only need to have a very good sense of smell.2. Willingness to explore with your noseScroll down for a demo of

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-72097382095447781092008-09-13T12:53:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.165-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-85360285499795735052008-09-13T12:31:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-9941599093649039552008-09-13T12:29:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-51768976774821381532008-09-09T20:01:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-78169848929200506652008-09-09T19:54:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

Hello, hello, Hallooooooo!!!I am sorry for I could not meet with you today. I still need to preside in my company's meeting right after my breakfast...delicious banana cake....:) (WOW!)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-5283894786933610162008-09-03T21:26:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

Here is a puzzle for you....1.Imagine you are in Africa . 2.You have been tied hanging on atree with a rope anchored on theground....3. A candle is slowly burning the rope,and the lion is waiting for you to dropand be his lunch.4.Your survival hinges on the rope stayingintact..5.There is no onearound to help you.6. What to do now?7. Write

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-15794910338012490502008-09-03T21:13:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

VVVVV

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-26150265607602040982008-08-28T16:13:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.166-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-41843038891149249662008-08-28T16:02:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-598389188349658752008-08-26T07:10:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

STRESSED OUT!!!! beauty salon and spa!!!MAYBE the owners are the ones who need beautifying then !!!!hihihihihi

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-17843958583789537292008-08-26T07:03:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

One day i was listening to the radio and heard this silly joke which went like this:Mother : Did you know every grain of rice is sewn with the farmers' sweat and blood ?!?!Kids: EEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!Mother: Did you know every fish caught by fishermen came from the hands they dug in the dirt ?!?!Kids: EEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!Mother: Did you know you kids were made from your father and i's own

Princess Maleihanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-74893550546427678242008-08-22T16:15:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-63204166670608123262008-08-07T19:07:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

When I got home from work last night,my wife demanded that I take her outto an expensive place..VVVVVVVVVSo I took her to a petrol station!i

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-14879803780729986982008-08-07T15:15:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

Hello!Hello!

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-2607636747882090412008-08-07T03:43:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

(Foreword: The photo and words on this post are all from FFO yahoo group.This does not aim to make fun of these sexy ladies in the picture below... for in fairness to them,being sexy does not necessarily mean that they need to have small waists or curvaceous bodies, for they too, are beautiful in their own rights.)A forwarded e-mail:ATTENTION !!!Warning About ChocolateDo you eat chocolate?!We

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-64629320960817153642008-08-07T03:34:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.167-07:00

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-22845733088472031012008-08-07T03:32:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.168-07:00

Wow!So heavy!Can't you see?

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-9549380206664278372008-08-07T03:25:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.168-07:00

Two men, one American and an Indianwere sitting in a bar drinking shot aftershot.The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."The

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-20220743043264275382008-08-07T03:12:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.168-07:00

(Parental Guidance: Please tell your child that the word "fucken" is not to be used in formal and respectable conversations.)

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-30887047487088923702008-08-07T02:58:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.168-07:00

Job rejected?Next time your application for a job is rejected...Here is how one rejected job applicant repliedthrough e-mail:Dear [Interviewer' s Name ]:Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview ].After careful consideration I regret to inform youthat I am unable to accept your refusal to offerme employment with your firm. This year I havehad been particularly fortunate in receiving

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-970571017494919933.post-42384221440350630942008-08-07T02:41:00.000-07:002009-03-25T22:53:28.168-07:00

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrowmorning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway thatgoes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND ITBETTER BE THERE!! "She was expecting a brand new car.The next morning Rick got up early and left for work.When his wife woke up she looked out the windowand sure enough there was a box

BAI MALEIHA B.CANDAOnoreply@blogger.com0